Suppot FNF at the London Marathon - Peter's Story

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Published: Wednesday, 24 April 2019 12:11

Virgin London Marathon

Peter Pearcy is Running for his children and FNF this Sunday

Peter has four children, two from his first marriage and two from the second. Despite years in family courts he is unable to see two and they are unable to see each other. Such family relationships are unique and irreplaceable - their loss damaging. Peter says "This year I will be running the London Marathon to raise money for FNF so they can continue to help families reunite with their children, please give generously". You can read more of Peter's story and make a donation on his fundraising page. Peter has set himself a target of raising £2,500 and with your help he can do it!

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Make Parental Alienation Illegal

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Published: Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:11

Sign a Petition to Make Parental Alienation a Criminal Offence

25th April is Internationl Parental Alienation Awareness Day

Each year thousands of children, who love both their parents, find themselves orphaned from one parent due to the poisonous behaviour of the other. Children are put under so much pressure to hate a parent that it becomes 'the real love that dare not speak its name' as Bob Geldof once said. It is devastating to target parents whose loving relationships end up slowly but surely being destroyed . It is simply child abuse and a form of coercive control, the effect of which is every bit as harmful as other forms of criminal abuse. This petition addresses this very comomn scourge and deserves everyone's support. Please SIGN THIS PETITION and share it.

Smash the 10,000 Signatures Target

10,000 signatures are needed for the government to have to take notice or at least acknowledge the petition. So please SIGN IT AND SHARE IT. If everyone who receives this email signs and then forwards it to other family members, friends and colleagues who then do so too, we will smash the 10,000 limit and make some progress.

To achieve our objective of ending this abuse we'll also need to keep up our future campaigns, so please encourage family and friends to REGISTER WITH US AT FNF AS WELL, FOR FREE.  They'll be able to receive our Newsletters, progress reports and other updates.

Further Action

Please ask to meet your MP or write to them. Tell them of your experience of parental alienation, tell them how many people have signed the petition to outlaw it and how ineffective family courts currently are at dealing with it. Tell them that the World Health Organisation (WHO) is considering formal recognition of PA and that the recent research by Colorado State University identifies it as both child abuse and a form of intimate partner violence. Suggest that your MP contacts the relevant ministers at the Ministries of Justice and Health to get their response. Please feel free to share any responses you get with us at admin@fnf.org.uk (we will not publish identifying details without your permission).

Thank you!

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World Health Organisation (WHO) Considers Formal Recognition of Parental Alienation

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Published: Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:11

World Health Organisation (WHO) Considers Formal Recognition of Parental Alienation

The World Health Organisation is to decide in May whether Parental Alienation is to be added to its International Classification of Diseases. If it does, it will be a boost to raising awareness of this pernicious abuse of children and of one of their parents whom the child feels pressured to reject. Last month we heard from a dad who raised the possibility in court only to be told by the Cafcass Family Court Advisor and the judge that PA does not exist. Read the full article on this for more information.

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Parental Alienation - Child Abuse and Intimate Terrorism Says Research

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Published: Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:11

4.5 Million Parents Suffer Intimate Terrorism

Their Children Abused by Parental Alienation

Researchers at Colorado State University (CSU) have published a report identifying Parental Alienation as a form or child abuse and intimate terrorism.

Associate Professor of Psychology at CSU, Jennifer Harman estimates that this affects 22 million American parents. Projecting the US figures suggests 4.5 million UK parents with alienated children!

Harman, an expert in power dynamics, says the following:

“You have to treat an alienated parent like an abused person.
You have to treat the child like an abused child.
You take the child out of that abusive environment.
You get treatment for the abusive parent, and you put the child in a safe environment – the healthier parent.”

We are drawing this to the attention of Cafcass who, having moved forward in accepting that alienation, or as they prefer to call it 'unjustified rejection' by a child of a parent, they still sorely lack plans for appropriate interventions. What are they waiting for?

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Parental Alienation - Recent Media

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Published: Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:11

Recent Parental Alienation Articles of Interest 

A case of parental alienation that started in 2012 finally led to the child living with his dad last year when professionals and the court accepted that the mainpulation and hate would not end otherwise. The court report is published after the mother lost her attempt last month to appeal the judgement of the court in yet another attempt to exclude the father from their son's life. The mother had a QC to represent her while the father was a litigant in person. A ray of hope! The Guardian covered the story under the somewhat alarmist headline Boy must leave mother with 'hateful feelings' for father, judge rules.

Allegations of domestic violence form part of the weaponary of parental alienation, leaving family courts having to distinguish the difference between genuine abuse and false or unfounded allegations that are themselves a form of abuse. We hear from dads who have been the subjects of violence, only to find this turned around to suggest that they were the aggressor - attack as a form of defence. New research being published in Canade concludes that the "gender lens" is counter-productive to families and domestic violence is "largely gender symmetric". Authorities such as the police and other organisations dealing with allegations of abuse often demonstrate "gender asummetry" in ignoring men who make complaints or suffer abuse more than when women do. The article on this was published by the Toronto Sun. We have obtained a copy of the research and have requested permission to share it with you.

There was also an article on BBC online (and The Times) about an abduction to Ukraine of daughters being alinenated from their millionaire father. "She is instilling hate in one of the few people who will always love them unconditionally, who is always going to hug them" the father told The Times. "Pappa is bad" said the daughter. Abduction is a feature of alienation, as is moving hundreds of miles to frustrate relationships. Such chocking alienation can affect parents regardless of whether they are poor or multi-millionaires as in this case reported a week ago after the judge gave permission for the mother to be named as the children were suffering significant harm.

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Influence Child Maintenance Policy

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Published: Friday, 12 April 2019 12:11

Respond to Government Consultation on Social Security and Separated Parents
Dealine for submissions is Tuesday 16th April 2019

The Social Security Advisory Committee (SSAC). is a statutory government agency that advises on complex social security regulations. They are asking organisations and individuals to submit evicence that help them to understand how living standards and well-being are affected by:

• child maintenance
• child benefit
• the legacy benefit system (for example Child Tax Credit, Housing Benefit and Working Tax Credit)
• Universal Credit

This is a rare opportunity to help the government to understand what works and what does not with a focus particularly on parents who pay Child Maintenance.- most such investigation tend to look at the 'single parent'.

Whist the work will focus on the issues around benefits, including Universal Credit, it will consider other matters that affect paying parents.

Examples of issues that you may be able to assist with:

• Unaffordable assessments for Child Maintenance
• 20% ‘collect’ system surcharge
• Issues with variations of pay e.g. if self-employed
• Work that does not pay
• Shared parenting not taken into account fairly
• Housing cost issues
• Second family costs
• Travel cost issues
• Assessments that don’t reflect court orders or promote breaking them
• Overturned court agreed maintenance
• etc

Responses should be emailed by 16th April 2019 to ssac.consultation@ssac.gov.uk. See specific questions being asked and further details of the consultation. 

Focus Groups - Thank you to everyone who responded to our call for participants in focus groups on 22nd April 2019.. We will confirm details of those to take part shortly.

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Think-tank Identifies the ‘Hidden Parent Poverty Trap’ of Child Maintenance

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Published: Friday, 29 March 2019 17:03

Think-tank Identifies the ‘Hidden Parent Poverty Trap’ of Child Maintenance

The Centre for Social Justice (CSJ) have completed their report into Child Maintenance (CM) under the title 'THE HIDDEN POVERTY TRAP: Child Maintenance and Universal Credit'.

The report identifies many of the issues that we have been campaigning on. Their findings are essentially same as ours - that some of the poorest people are being asked to pay money they do not have and for whom work does not pay.

Their recommendations are:
1. That Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) urgently review the number of people affected if Universal Credit (UC) is rolled out.
2. To avoid the politically sensitive issue of reducing CM to receiving parents, they suggest a complete reform of Child Maintenance on the Australian/Norwegian/US Income Shares Model that takes into account both parent's incomes and cost of living allowances.
3. That UC calculations should include Child Maintenance.

Whist the focus of this work was the interaction of UC and CM, the issues exist under the existing 'legacy' benefits.

The recommended Income Shares Model is at odds with the idea of simplicity of child support and we may wish to thinks further about better ways. If shared care was the norm then it would not matter so much.

Meanwhile, please bring this work to the attention of your MP and ask others to do the same, especially if affected by the 'poverty trap' of the current system. Please ask your MP to raise your experiences with the minister, perhaps suggesting some or all of the points we are calling on the government to do:

1. immediately stop surcharging the poorest and most vulnerable parents who are on state benefits
2. urgently update Chile Maintenance payment thresholds for cost-of-living increases since 1998
3. adjust Universal Credit to take into account Child Maintenance, in-line with CSJ recommendations
4. carry out a wholesale review of Child Maintenance to meet the needs of modern-day families with a particular emphasis on promoting and not undermining shared parenting.

Obviously, the formula is very flawed beyond that, in undermining shared parenting and promoting conflict. However, the affordability issue is the primary one addressed by this report.

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Do You Want to Influence Child Maintenance Policy?

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Published: Friday, 29 March 2019 16:41

Have your say by attending a Focus Group
Westminster 24th April 2019 6 pm to 7.30 pm

A government agency has commissioned research into living standards and well-being of separated parents, with respect to child maintenance and the benefits system. The study will focus particularly on parents who pay Child Maintenance.

Whist the work will focus on the issues around benefits, including Universal Credit, it will consider other matters that affect paying parents.

Examples of issues that you may be able to assist with:

• Unaffordable assessments for Child Maintenance
• 20% ‘collect’ system surcharge
• Issues with variations of pay e.g. if self-employed
• Work that does not pay
• Shared parenting not taken into account fairly
• Housing cost issues
• Second family costs
• Travel cost issues
• Assessments that don’t reflect court orders or promote breaking them
• Overturned court agreed maintenance
• etc

The research has been commissioned by the Social Security Advisory Committee (SSAC). They are a statutory body that makes independent recommendations to the government on complex regulations, so this is an opportunity for your voice to be heard.

Please email admin@fnf.org.uk with ‘Child Maintenance’ in the subject heading if you are able and willing to attend this with an outline of your situation and we will confirm details in a couple of weeks’ time.

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Become a Trustee

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Published: Tuesday, 26 February 2019 10:27

FNF Trustees

The list of desired skills below has been identified by the board to strengthen the skillset held collectively by the Board, and that is appropriate to our national charity. It is not mandatory, however, and a trustee candidate may not have any of the desired skills listed and may have other skills and knowledge that we believe would benefit the Board as well as having the time to commit to the charity.

The legal requirement to become a trustee are that you are not legally barred for holding such a post, you have been correctly proposed and you are willing to hold the post.

Anyone wanting more information should contact the Company Secretary.

The board would welcome interest from people who have the time to participate at least 1-2 days a month as well as offering one or more of the following:

1. Is a partner in a law firm or an experienced family court lawyer.

2. Has a network and close relationships with a celebrity group of contacts who could enhance the FNF profile and standing.

3. Has experience over a number of years of successfully building commercial enterprises from start-up positions to a turnover of £1 million plus.

4. Is a former or current MP or a former senior civil servant acting in a department that deals in family matters, family law, health or education or other relevant areas at a senior level.

5. Has proven experience in public relations, news or media at a national level.

6. Has substantial commercial or larger scale charity marketing or fundraising experience and is a member of the Institute of Marketing or another nationally recognised professional body.

7. Has professional experience and a good track record of Fundraising or of PR and national or high-profile media and communication skills.

8. Has demonstrable experience of successfully lobbying and achieving legislative or social change.

9. Has professional finance and/or governance skills.

Please note that it is not necessary for a Trustee to be a member of FNF – rather that they bring relevant skills and experience and can devote adequate time to the role.

Trustees need to be able to devote a reasonable amount of their free time to helping with the governance and development of the charity. This will involve participating in 6 - 8 evening meetings a year (usually by Skype), attending an Annual General Meeting, also contributing to development of our activities by taking on specific projects in their own time and contributing to the work of sub-committees that focus on the services we offer. This includes fundraising, marketing, campaigning, governance, etc. The role of Trustees is to develop policies and ensure that the charity complies with legal requirements (for more details please see https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/the-essential-trustee-what-you-need-to-know-cc3).

Please note that the Board is open to nomination of potential Trustees at all times, not just at AGMs. The Board can co-opt new Trustee candidates which it feels are suitable on to the Board in between AGMs. This gives additional opportunities for the Board and prospective Trustees to work together pending their confirmation by election at AGMs.

If you are interested, please contact us on admin@fnf.org.uk.

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Join Our Helpline

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Published: Friday, 08 February 2019 20:56

We need sympathetic listeners who can help callers and guide them to the right support and services

• Becoming a helpline volunteer. You will need to be selected, trained, abide by policy and procedures and accept advice and support. But there is an enormous need for this service and great satisfaction in helping.
  
  

• Become a telephone contact. You will still need to abide by our values and codes, but this is more like the support you might offer at a meeting - another person to whom to talk. Or you may have a special area of expertise such as law or parental alienation. To find out more contact the FNF office.

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